They want to go to Mars

The Rise of the "Tradfem" Movement and the Paradox of the "Trad Wife" Influencer

On the fifth of November, both Americans and Europeans found themselves holding their breath, waiting for the results of an election that many felt was destined to disappoint. For years, it seems, the United States has faced an unending cycle of elections that, to onlookers, appear less about visionary leadership and more about selecting the lesser of two evils. As someone on the sidelines, I’ve reflected deeply on how to approach this topic, knowing that, for some, any dissenting perspective may seem futile or even unwelcome. For how can any words alter the convictions of those who believe that a convicted felon and known predator could still embody the role of a respectable president? Surely, I am not alone in feeling that to speak on this subject is to cast yet another voice into a void echoing with political disillusionment.

Yet truly, does it come as a surprise to any of us? Perhaps you held a sliver of hope, thought that maybe Harris could secure this win and we would, at least, have the lesser evil in such a powerful role. (Because, like it or not, America’s presidential election ripples far beyond its borders, impacting the world at large.) One of the main agenda points this time around was female reproductive rights—a topic on which I could write pages. But then again, the thought of entering this debate through the same lens feels empty, as if it would be adding yet another echo to a conversation that will merely be ignored by those opposed to my stances. (How odd it is to feel such a pit in my stomach for a country which is not even my own..)  Here we are again, watching history, ideals, and rights we once thought settled slip back into controversy. It feels like a tug-of-war, not just in the U.S., but worldwide, where so many are drawn toward visions of the past, as if clinging to older values could somehow make sense of today’s chaos.

I have always felt that America was a battlefield for feminism, a lot of the great feminist pieces I have read and used come from American women who speak on the everlasting divide. And while their trickle-down economy seems to lack any sense, the misogynism trickles down its acres perfectly fine.

This contradiction, the persistent tension between progress and backlash, has only become more visible in recent years, especially on social media. Long before these elections, over the past year, we’ve seen the rise of the "tradfem" movement—women embracing traditional roles, rejecting modern feminist ideals, and advocating for a return to a more domesticated, often hyper-feminine form of womanhood. On platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube, these self-proclaimed “trad wives” are sharing their lives, glorifying marriage, motherhood, and submissiveness to their husbands as the ultimate fulfilment for women. What’s striking is the way this movement, which seems to reject so much of what feminism fought for, has gained so much traction in an era where women are supposedly more liberated than ever. It’s as if, in the midst of all the progress, a counter-narrative has emerged, one that promises security, purpose, and perhaps most alluringly, simplicity in a world that often feels overwhelmingly complex.

As much as some of these women who portray that role online insist that they don't associate with this tradwife label and insist that they are just living their lives, the online content does not exist in some form of vacuum. After all.. you exist in the context of all in which you live and what came before you. One of the problems here is that it always gets packaged in effortlessness, one that speaks to viewers and completely disregards the fact that being a housewife is hard work. I would like to use a case study here. Ballerina Farm, where Hannah and her husband Daniel, along with their eight children, have become a viral sensation for their idyllic farm life in Utah. On the surface, their lifestyle—where Hannah shares moments of baking bread, preparing meals from scratch, and managing her family and farm—presents an image of perfect harmony. However, as is often the case with online content, this image is not without its complications. Recently, an interview with Hannah in The New York Times shed new light on the reality behind the scenes. Suddenly, the picture-perfect life that had been carefully curated online came under scrutiny, raising questions about the hidden struggles beneath the polished exterior.

The controversy deepened as the interview revealed that Hannah had once dreamed of becoming a professional ballerina, following classes in Julliard (an insanely prestigious performing arts college). This dream she had to give up for her life on the farm. Adding fuel to the fire, Daniel also admitted that Hannah, while often portrayed as effortlessly managing everything, sometimes experiences extreme exhaustion and burnout. She even had to take a week off to recover after the weight of her many responsibilities became too much to bear. This all promotes the idea that a woman's place is in the home and that her delicate femininity can only survive within its walls.

The "trad wife" influencer is a paradox in its purest form—an idealized vision of domestic simplicity that, ironically, thrives on the very freedoms and privileges that women of the past were denied. These women promote a life centered on traditional gender roles, where their primary focus is family, homemaking, and nurturing children. These women aren't traditional, they are business owners LARPing the 1950's. This juxtaposition—claiming to embody the past while enjoying the privileges of the present—is at the heart of the "trad wife" trend. In essence, they’re not traditional at all. They’re women participating in a kind of performative nostalgia, living out a version of the 1950s that’s been carefully curated to fit modern sensibilities and opportunities.

It’s a bit like those friends you have who want to dress up and attend a Renaissance fair, revelling in the aesthetic of a time gone by, without the discomforts or dangers that people from the past had to endure—like the risk of contracting the bubonic plague.

Similarly, these "trad wives" don’t fully acknowledge the deeply problematic history behind the idealized version of domesticity they promote. The vintage dresses and homemaking tutorials come with a carefully curated sense of nostalgia that ignores the troubling realities women faced in those "simpler times." What is conveniently left out of the narrative is that the housewives of the past—the very women these influencers romanticize—often lived in deeply repressive circumstances. The seemingly perfect mothers and wives of the 1950s were subjected to a slew of societal and psychological pressures, many of which are now being whitewashed in the "trad wife" narrative. It’s easy to forget that these women were often prescribed lobotomies or relied on sedatives and barbiturates just to cope with the overwhelming emotional strain of their lives. What they presented as the ideal of femininity was, in reality, a facade—one that hid the repression, mental health crises, and lack of agency that these women experienced.

The Risks and Consequences of Embracing the Housewife Ideal

I have heard from the women around me that they think the housewife ideal isn't all that bad, and that they do not understand why we ever wanted to work in the first place. After all nothing is satisfying about working. To them I say, that housework is still work, that labour that you wish to do for your husband and kids. He would have to pay someone else to do that. The freedom to choose is what feminism is all about, and to a point, I agree that this applies here. Feminism that only focuses on women's agency to make decisions and doesn't investigate, the social pressures behind these decisions and the consequences of these decisions leaves women vulnerable to exploitation. Because while these influencers get to cosplay trad wives, real stay-at-home moms suffer the consequences. Women deserve to know what they are risking. The husband is holding all the cards, if he decides to walk away from the table the wife is often left with no job, minimal education and years of missing work experience. The wife's well-being is completely dependent on the goodwill of the husband. America is now cursed with a president-elect who supports the very ideals I speak out against in this piece. It’s an ironic twist of fate: while women are being pushed to retreat into their kitchens, to embrace traditional domesticity, and to embody a version of femininity that's quaint and nostalgic, the very figures who endorse this vision (and the future president)—men like Elon Musk—are looking to the stars. Men are still aiming for Mars, Women have seemed to lost sight of Venus.